I’m back!!! :)

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I know it’s been a long time since I last wrote a post for you guys, but I guess a lot of things were in the way of my blogging. I truly regret not writing more often!! I guess this is a special occasion. I started this blog when I first fell in love. A couple of years ago, that love broke my heart by going to Australia and I had to move on, which I did, thankfully!! Now I’m back with a new love, thus it is a magnificent new reason to start blogging. :)

I really thought my heart would never heal again… I couldn’t be more wrong! I met this person throught my work/school network. He was charming when I first saw him and I felt something happening to my body at that time, however, I ignored it and believed it was something else. I saw him again some other times and that feeling got worse. Until a few weeks ago I suddenly realized I might be in love again. I don’t like calling it love because I’m afraid it will give me bad luck and we all know how much appalling luck I already have at love. Therefore, I decided to call it “undeniable passion”. Meaning yes, I really really really like this guy, way more than I usually do for a mere crush.

Even though my heart is open once more, I am still very frightened about my odds at love and getting wrecked again. I can see that he is mildly attracted to me and that’s it. He doesn’t reveal much. He is playing the game of “I’m trying to not give a shit about you”. Problem is, I’m tired of that game! Hell, I invented that game and I know it never works out. You usually end up losing the person you wanted with these games, I’m living proof of it.

So, I decided to leave here a letter for him…

Dear person about whom I have an undeniable passion,

I’m aware that you may not feel the way I do, that I might be daydreaming about this and all that music that you’ve been posting on your facebook wall may not be dedicated to me. Nevertheless, since I realised that you’re not the sort of guy who will ever admit to anything unless he is 100% sure, I’m writing this letter to let you know how I feel.

You probably think I’m a fool already or stupid for insisting on my pain just for this slight chance that you actually feel the same way… but I don’t care anymore. I’ve suffered too much, been through enough adversity to be sick of silly teenage games. I’m ready for the real thing!!

Moreover, I’m letting you acknowledge that if you do feel the same, then i’m not the only foolish person here… you are one too, as you didn’t have the courage (aka balls) to tell me yet. See, society finds a girl “easy” if she is the one who makes the first step towards someone, however, a boy is “the man” if he approaches her first. Therefore, you see my dilemma in not wanting to express my feelings loudly, don’t you? I bet you already find me easy!! And I hate that! I’m not! I’m simply honest and caring! I despise how biased society can be nowadays, utterly loathe it!

So, yes! I really like you, what are you going to do about it? I like you, not for what you have or whom you pretend to be, I like you for who you are deep down, as I see beyond your womanizers’ mask, your confident smile and your broken promises. I understand you more than you believe possible. I know where you came from and where you’re going and I want to be a part of it. If I have to wait, I’ll do it. Just stop ignoring me or being a pussy about this. Just say how you feel, even if it’s nothing. Even if it’s all in my head again. I deserve the truth. So did you, that’s why I wrote this.

Very truly yours,

F.S.

Flamboyant Hope

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Don’t do it

Wipe away the tears

Bit by bit

The cloudy night clears

And it will feel like

It’s been a hundred years

Have faith

Have strength

Light awaits you

Paintings of green and blue

Drenched of flamboyant hope

Rather new

Cutting the hoary rope

Rifting the truth

____________

*By Pippa